Friday, December 12, 2003
Bullet-point news from That Friday Thing....
Modernising the army. What's all that about, then?
- The British army is to be redesigned to respond to the military
requirements of the 21st Century. A high-tech 'phone' system will
be introduced over which George Bush tells Tony Blair which
country he's got to invade next.
- Outdated 'industrial' warfare, such as the use of heavy tanks,
to dropped in favour of cheaper, more modern ways of attacking
the enemy, eg. jamming their inboxes with thousands of video
clips of David Brent dancing.
- Financial savings to be made with controversial new 'rifle
share' scheme.
...
Why all the fuss about the next Lord of the Rings film?
- The infantilising effect of Harry Potter means that we're now
incapable of watching a film that doesn't contain some form of
magic and/or goblins and elves.
- There are 1,000,000,000,000 computer generated characters to
get to know and love.
- The nostalgia and innocence of Lord of the Rings appeals to the
child in every adult who wouldn't mind fucking Liv Tyler.
